I have this problem where I’m always placing expectations on people.
Assuming I know why they act the way they act.
Assuming I know how they should act.
Assuming I have any control over the way they act.
Assuming I can guide them towards a reaction I find more acceptable.
Assuming I know the best way for them to react at all.
And then adding buckets of negative weight to my yoke when they don't react in the specific way I prescribe.
I don’t think I’m alone. I see other people doing this all the time.
The simple fact is, all we know is ourselves and what other people choose to show us. Everyone else around us only knows themselves and what you choose to show them. They are going act in their own unique way, based on their own experience and perspective.
Even when we don’t like it, even when we take it as a personal affront, 9 times out of 10 it has absolutely nothing to do with us. They're just being themselves.
But we still let it get to us. We let it cause anger, scorn, and disrespect. We let it drive us to do and say regrettable things. We let it destroy relationships. We let it control us.
No one is ever going the act the way you would act. Remember we're all unique, with unique minds, unique perceptions, and unique opinions. Our uniqueness is what keeps life fresh.
When we place expectations on those we love, we’re hoping they care about us as much as we care about them. But maybe, even when they don't react as we'd prefer, they still care. Maybe they just care in their own way. Maybe that’s OK.
It’s time to let go of these lame expectations.
Stop pretending we know how they will react.
Stop pretending we know how they should react.
Stop pretending we have any control over their reaction.
Stop pretending to be an expert on their life.
Don't waste your life tormenting over expectations. Allow each person to be their unique self and Let. It. Go.